From Mad Dog to Mountain Goat
by Hawks nest427
Summary: While Kim had unlimited choices for college, Ron wasn't as fortunate. Luckily, his time as Middleton High's running back got him attention from several college football programs. So who does he choose? Why non other than the NCAA's first division powerhouse, Blue Mountain State University. KP/BMS crossover-ish. If you've seen BMS, you know this has to be an M rating.


**Kim Possible and Blue Mountain State belong to their respective owners. I own nothing.**

**See authors note**

**It's called hazing, look it up**

**Post-graduation plans**

It was a fine summer day in Middleton, Colorado. The sun was out, the school year has ended, and people were going on about their days enjoying themselves. Looking around, you would find it impossible to imagine that a couple of months ago, the world was almost destroyed by literal aliens from space. The giant war machines of Warhok and Warmonga made quick work of conventional forces while devastating cities worldwide. Just when all hope seemed lost, they were defeated thanks to the combined efforts of the teen crime fighting duo, Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable, and their archfoes Dr. Drakken and Shego. Many people agreed that there's just something so symbolic and inspiring about enemies putting aside their differences to deal with a common threat. After the dust settled, Kim and Ron were praised for their efforts alongside Drakken and Shego, who seemed to have retired from their villainous ways. Well, that's the last thing anybody's heard about the criminal duo, as they appeared to have dropped off the radar. Some people may be concerned, but all efforts were more focused on cleaning up the aftermath.

With the Lowardian crisis over, the world was able to rebuild and hopefully return to their normal lives. Of course for the teen heroes, that meant getting ready for the next important step after high school: college. As expected, Kim pretty much had a blank check on where she would go to school. With her excellent academics, extracurricular activities, and her many exploits as a crime fighter, damn near every university in the world opened their doors to her with full ride scholarships. Although the prospect of attending a prestigious university overseas was appealing to the redhead, the thought of being so far away from Ron for at least four years was less than appealing. Despite Ron's encouraging words telling her to go for it, Kim ultimately decided to stay in the U.S. with her logic being that she's already seen most of the world due to missions, and she could still get an excellent education stateside. Not to mention she can be in close contact with Ron without compromising her educational opportunities.

Ron on the other hand was more limited with his options. Despite a slight resurgence during his senior year, the overall combined years of neglecting his schoolwork came back to bite him in the ass. Thankfully he had one saving grace that kept him in the market for college: football. Not only did he break several records during his time as a starting running back for Middleton High, but he also broke several state records as well during that time, making him the MVP of high school football for the state of Colorado. Of course, having Mystical Monkey Powers may have been a factor in helping him break some of those records. He figured it's probably best to keep that part quiet. Besides, all great athletes have something that gives them an edge, right?

So now there was no question that Ron "Unstoppable" Stoppable, became one of the top recruits for college football. Letters, emails, and recruiters all found their way to Ron's house trying to get him to sign the letter of intent to join their respective football programs, much to his enjoyment. Kim was also ecstatic that Ron was getting attention from colleges, as he's been long overdue for any type of recognition. She would've liked it if he was remembered for his exploits as her crime fighting partner, but at least these colleges can actually remember his name.

Now all that was left is for both teens to choose a school to attend. It took quite a bit thinking on her part, but Kim choose to attend a prestigious school in New York with the intent to study either law or psychology. She'll take a few classes of each while doing her general ed to see which is more appealing or go in a new direction altogether. Ron on the other hand, had no clue what to study. He considered culinary arts at first, but he enjoys cooking more as a hobby rather than a career path. So with that in mind, he'll just go in as undeclared and hopefully figure it out within those four years of college. Luckily, he gets a full ride football scholarship at any of the schools he chooses so there's no need to stress much about paying for school. He ultimately decided to attend a school in the Midwestern U.S. that was one of the NCAA's first division powerhouses in terms of football.

With the fall semester starting soon, Kim and Ron were spending as much time together as they could before going their separate ways. Thankfully, the other villains the heroes regularly encountered were on the down low due to their lairs being destroyed by the Lowardians, and the fact that every single government agency in the world, including Global Justice, was on high alert for any criminal activity that dares to take advantage of the Lowardian aftermath. So it was during this quiet summer that the two built upon their relationship as boyfriend and girlfriend. They went on dates, spent most of their free time at each other's houses, and even got to know each other on a more…personal level. Their first time was a strange combination of awkward and romantic as the two intermingled with each other and connected on a deeper emotional level. Two things were certain that night: One, it was the best Fourth of July Kim and Ron ever celebrated, and two, they needed practice.

And that's what they did for the remaining days of summer. Ron's bedroom, Kim's bedroom, the shower, the back of Kim's car, and the treehouse in Ron's backyard were the first few places they practiced enjoying each other's company. When they got more comfortable with each other, they tried being more adventurous in their endeavors. Some prime locations were the movie theater, the park at night, and the dressing rooms at Club Banana and Smarty Mart. They even pushed their luck when they made the ballsy decision to spend time together at the hospital while Ann Possible was working. There may have been a few close calls almost getting caught by Kim's mother, but that doesn't compare to how close they were getting caught by Kim's father when they visited the Middleton Space Center. By some miracle, James Possible believed Kim when she said that her moaning was because she was feeling ill. Neither Kim nor Ron could believe that her father, a gifted rocket scientist, was that oblivious when it came to his daughter.

Or maybe he did know and just accepted the fact that his little Kimmie-cub was growing up. It'll forever be a mystery.

Eventually, they got most of it out of their system, and were putting the brakes on their adventurous encounters. Okay maybe not slamming on the brakes, but they were slowing down if anything. They already had plenty of time to get to know each other, best friends since pre-k and all that, so they were able to jump straight into boyfriend/girlfriend territory without the annoying "getting to know the person" phase. But like all things life, nothing lasts forever, and tonight was the last night before they had to leave for their respective schools. At the moment, they were currently hanging out in Kim's living room, snuggled up together on the couch and watching movies while snacking on some Bueno Nacho. Not even their recent sexual adventures can compete against the classic Naco-movie night tradition…although it's certainly up there on the list.

"See KP? I told you the girlfriend was the killer." Ron said with smug satisfaction.

"Alright, you don't need to rub it in." Kim replied with a hint of annoyance.

"Now, now. You know the usual wager." Ron couldn't help but smile as Kim sighed.

"Grande-Sized Naco combos for a week." She answered with the bitter taste of defeat. Usually she wins these little bets and drags Ron with her on an all-day shopping spree, but he's been on a roll lately.

"Well yeah, that's the 'normal' wager, but I think we'll have to rethink payment seeing as how we're not going to be in the area." Ron said with another grin, yet with traces of gloominess in his voice.

Kim heard the sadness in his voice, and it made her feel the same way. The summer just went by too fast for her liking, and she wasn't sure how she was going to make it without her regular doses of 'Ronshine'. The sex was enjoyable for sure, but what she's really going to miss was Ron himself. His goofy smile, his gentle eyes, his friendship, and everything else that makes Ron…Ron. But this was their last night together, so she was going to make the most of it. Still, they needed something to take their minds off leaving each other tomorrow, and with her family not coming back for another few hours, Kim had a pretty good idea of what'll do the trick.

"Is that so?" She asked while flashing him a flirtatious grin. "I guess I can come up with some other way to…pay." Kim purred into Ron's ear. Without any warning, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into a deep, passionate kiss. Kim's tongue pushed forward to part Ron's lips, which he gladly did to allow her tongue access to his mouth. It tasted like Nacos, but Kim didn't mind at all. Eventually they had to part the kiss to allow each other to catch their breaths. Both Kim and Ron looked into each other's eye and saw the desire and trust they've built over the years that make moments like these special. With one swift motion, Kim's top ended up on the floor to allow her to expose her bare chest to Ron. She then followed with a gentle kiss on his lips, then moved down to his neck, before moving to his now bare chest. She continued to travel down his body with her kisses until she reached her destination. Kim gave one last mischievous smirk to Ron before turning her attention on the target zone.

"Booyah." Ron simply said with a large grin. _"This is definitely equal to a weeks' worth of Grande-Sized Naco combos."_ He thought to himself.

**The next day, Middleton airport**

"I guess this is it." Ron said, trying to maintain a strong front for Kim, who held him in a tight embrace.

"Yeah…it is." She replied with the saddest expression Ron's ever seen. Then again, he couldn't blame her. It's not like Wannaweep where they were going to reunite after a couple of months. They were going to be in different states for at least four years and would only be able to see each other during breaks. Sure, they could call each other but they both knew that they would be very busy and may not have time to talk all that often. Tears were already streaming down Kim's face.

"Hey now, don't cry. It doesn't suit you." Ron said while gently wiping away her tears. She responded with a weak smile and a gentle kiss on his lips.

"Promise me that no matter what happens out there, you'll still be the goofy, big eared, blonde kid who I met that day in the playground in pre-k." Kim replied, releasing Ron from her embrace but still held both of his hands.

"Don't worry KP. The Ron-man maybe going off to college, but he'll still the same badical, bon-diggity person you know and love." He reassured his girlfriend while bringing her in for another hug.

_"Flight 3054, nonstop to New York is now boarding."_ The airport's PA system called out.

"That's me." Kim simply stated. Grabbing hold of Ron, she pulled him in for one last kiss to say goodbye. Both of them wanted to stay like this forever but they knew it was time. With much reluctance, they ended the kiss but had trouble letting go of their embrace. Ron looked deep into those sad, emerald green eyes and saw the pain in them. Knowing this is the last time they'll be seeing each other for a while, he figured now would be a good time to say it.

"I love you." He smiled when he saw her eyes light up at the three words every woman loves to hear. Or so he's been told.

"I love you too." Even though Kim eyes were brimming with tears, she still smiled at Ron's words. He always seems to manage to put a smile on her face. She snuck in one more kiss before leaving Ron's embrace to head to her gate. "We'll talk later tonight…and good luck out there!" Ron watched as Kim made her way to the gate with her family in tow, saying their goodbyes as well. With one final turn of the corner, she was gone and out of sight. He let out a long sigh.

"Don't worry son, you two will be back together before you know it." Mr. Stoppable said encouragingly while placing a hand on his son's shoulder.

"I know dad. It's just that I wish I tried more in school, then maybe I could join her in New York." Ron replied.

"Your mother and I feel partly to blame on that with us not following up with you on school and being away on business so often." His dad said in a remorseful tone. Mrs. Stoppable placed a comforting hand on her husband's shoulder while holding Hana in the other.

"No dad don't blame yourselves. It's a two-way street and I'm just as much to blame." Ron, surprising his parents with his mature-like insight.

"Well, I know this won't make up for everything, but I hope it'll be a way to make it right." His father said before reaching into his pocket to pull out banking paperwork.

"What's this?" He asked

"This is a bank account that contains your college fund we started a while back, and the Naco royalty checks you get every fiscal quarter. Even though you have full ride football scholarship, you'll still need spending money for college. Trust me, I know." Mr. Stoppable said with a grin as he handed Ron the account information. The blonde looked in awe at the total available funds. While it wasn't the ninety-nine million dollars he received from his first royalty check, it was definitely a nice chunk of change that, added to his savings from working at Smarty Mart, will be more than enough to cover four years of college. That is, if he doesn't blow all his money on stupid shit.

"I…I don't know what to say." His parents smiled at their son's loss of words.

"A 'thank you' would be nice." Mrs. Stoppable replied with a light smile. Ron lightly chuckled before pulling his family into a hug. As they were hugging it out, the PA system came on to announce that Ron's flight was now boarding.

"Alright son, you better get a move on." His father said, giving one last hug before letting go. His mother had a harder time letting go but eventually did. Hana almost lifted Ron off the ground with her hug but was brought under control by her mother. With one last goodbye, Ron turned and started to head towards the gate

"I'll call as soon as I land!" Ron called out.

Ron made it just in time to board and got on without any delay. As he sat in his seat, he felt a familiar shuffle coming from his cargo pocket. The flap opened up, and out popped his other best friend, Rufus.

"Hey buddy, ready for this?" He asked the naked mole rat.

"Yeah!" Rufus squeaked.

"Alright. Blue Mountain State, here we come!" Ron said while high-fiving Rufus.

**BMS campus dorms**

"Yeah dad, the movers brought the rest of my stuff and everything is intact." Ron said into the phone. When his plane landed, Ron was surprised to see a personal driver holding up a sign with his name next to a BMS logo. The driver simply said he was with the BMS football boosters and was instructed to drive him to campus. On the way, Ron took in the sights of the town to familiarize himself with the local area. One glance was all that was needed to see that this was BMS territory based on all the banners and signs everywhere. Even the local Smarty Mart, which Ron was glad there was one nearby, depicted the mascot Brainy the Brain wearing a BMS football jersey. Of course, the highlight of the ride was when they passed by a Bueno Nacho that was right down the street from the main campus, displaying a sign advertising discounts for BMS students. Just like in Middleton, Ron would make sure to frequent the local Bueno Nacho.

Once Ron was all checked in, he was shown to his dorm room where he found the rest of his belongings he couldn't bring with him on the plane waiting for him. Not wasting anytime, he focused on getting his room organized and set up, as he was sure he was going to be very busy these next few days. Luckily, he was able to get a room without a roommate, leaving him with two bedrooms. One for him, and one for Rufus if he so desired. Said naked mole rat was currently taking a nap in the other room, so it's safe to assume he'll be using that room.

"Yup, I'm all set up and ready to go. Probably going to go grab some Bueno Nacho. All right, I will. Okay, I have to go now. Tell mom and Hana I love them. Alright, love you too dad. Bye." Hanging up the phone, Ron took a moment to pause and contemplate his surroundings. This would be his home for the next four years, so he wanted to make it feel like a home. Just as he was about to wake up Rufus to head to Bueno Nacho, there was a knock at the door. The last thing he expected to see when answering his door were two very attractive girls standing there. One of them appeared to be of Hispanic decent based on her sun kissed complexion, dark hair and brown eyes, while the other one had fairer skin, sandy blonde hair and green eyes. Although they were wearing trench coats, which Ron found odd, he could tell these two ladies had nice bodies. It was then that the Hispanic girl stepped up to speak.

"Hi, we're here courtesy of the BMS football boosters. Are you Ron Stoppable?" She asked. Ron, still surprised that two hot chicks were at his room, simply nodded to her. The two girls gave each other a quick look, then turned to face Ron with mischievous smirks on their faces. Before Ron could even react, the girl's trench coats were now on the floor, leaving them only in their sexy lingerie for him to view.

"…wha, huh?" Ron was at a loss for words. Then again, it's not every day two very attractive girls show up at your doorstep and strip down to their underwear that definitely showed off their long legs and lovely curves. As he stood there with a dumb expression on his face, he didn't realize the girls were now right up on him, touching him all over and placing light kisses along his face. "What's…this…about?" Ron managed to ask despite his mind having difficulty processing what's going on.

"Consider this your 'Welcome to BMS' package." The Hispanic girl answered as her hands explored Ron's body.

"We want to make sure you understand that this school takes care of its football player's needs. All of them." The other girl said while nibbling on his ear. All of what they said fell on deaf ears, as Ron was in the euphoria of living out the fantasy that every teenage boy has thought about at least 30 times a week. Their soft touches and pleasing aromas were putting Ron over the edge and he instinctively wrapped his arms around their waists to bring in them closer.

"_Oh booyah! Now we're talking! Man, I can't wait to tell Kim about…oh shit, KP!"_ With the image of his girlfriend now in his head, his mind returned to its normal operations and he forcibly pushed the two girls away. They looked at him with visible confusion. "I appreciate the gesture ladies, but I have a girlfriend." He explained while scratching the back of his head and giving a nervous chuckle. The girls laughed in response.

"Are you sure? We promise she'll never find out." The Hispanic girl said with a sweet smile. Ron's body was telling him 'yes', but his head and heart were telling him 'no'.

"Sorry ladies. As lovely as you two are, the Ron-man is spoken for." He replied with his 'serious face'.

"Aww that's sweet!" The other girl said with glee. Knowing that they weren't going to end up in Ron's bed, the girls went to put on their coats and gave him one final goodbye kiss. As they were leaving, the Hispanic girl turned back to Ron.

"Again, welcome to BMS." She then leaned in close to his ear. "If you ever have an…itch that needs scratching, come find us." She purred into his ear before exiting the room and leaving Ron's face red. Closing the door, he took a seat on the couch in order to collect his thoughts.

"There's no way I can explain this to Kim. She was ready to beat the snot out of Bonnie during the whole Homecoming incident. She'd probably kill those girls and have her father dispose of the bodies in a black hole." Ron said out loud to himself. "Just stay cool. You didn't do anything and stopped yourself. It'll be alright." He reassured himself. Then again, there was a tiny part of him that was ready and willing to jump into bed with those two girls. Thankfully, he resisted, but he knew he needed to remain vigilant for future encounters. Feeling better, he got up from the couch and went to wake up Rufus from his nap for some much-needed Bueno Nacho before calling Kim later tonight.

**BMS stadium**

"Once upon time, some weak, pathetic pussy coined the phrase, 'winning isn't everything'. Well, for most people, in most situations, he was right. But I'm not one of those people. And this is not of those situations. Blue Mountain State has won 17 national championships right on this field. Six on my watch alone. Because we don't just beat our opponents, gentlemen. We crush their wills to live. We suck the milk out of their mother's tits and use it as mouthwash. We rip off their dicks and invite them to an orgy." If anything could be said about Coach Marty Daniels, it's that he does not mince words.

Ron's first meeting with the middle-aged head coach was not at all what he expected. Instead of the usual "welcome to the team", Coach Daniels basically told Ron that he better live up to his nickname 'unstoppable' or he can kiss his football scholarship goodbye. He also made it clear that he didn't give two shits about his crime fighting career with Kim, and that his sole focus should be on football. Daniels is a strict, no-nonsense, by the book coach, but the man has the experience and wins to back up his methods, and Ron found himself respecting the man. Despite his tough demeanor and colorful vocabulary, Ron was willing to put in the work as to not let coach down. He made the realistic goal of trying not to slack off as much in college, as he barely made it through high school and didn't want to find himself in the same boat. The key word was 'try', as Ron knew he wasn't going to realistically turn over a new leaf and become a straight 'A' student.

"Use their Vagisil as lip balm." A brown-haired player standing near Ron whispered to him while Daniels was giving his speech. If he remembered right, this guy was the backup quarterback and a fellow freshman. Alex Moran, if he recalled his name. Of course, Coach Daniels seemed to notice Alex whispering.

"You got something to say, son?" Coach asked.

"No, Coach. No, I'm just studying the playbook." Alex replied, although Ron could see the doodles in Alex's playbook.

"Where do you come from?" Coach seemed to ask out of the blue.

"Cheyenne, Wyoming?" Alex replied, not understanding what coach was getting at.

"Wrong. Stoppable, same question." Now it was Ron's turn in the spotlight.

"Middleton, Colorado?" He answered with uncertainty.

"No, God damn it! Mountain Goats, where do we come from?" Coach addressed to the team.

"FROM OUR FATHER'S BALLS, SIR!" The upperclassmen of the team yelled in response that echoed through the stadium.

"From our father's balls! Most men think they just dropped out of their mother's womb like some glorified jellyfish. But champions know they came from their father's balls. Now I want you to go home tonight and think about that. And think hard about what category you fall into." Ron wasn't exactly sure what coach meant, but he's going to assume it's something about manning up. The sight of Daniels and the other coaches walking off was the universal signal of practice being over. It was then that the starting linebacker and team captain, Thad Castle, stepped up.

"All right, ladies, bring it in on three: One, two, three!" Thad called out, placing his hand out in the center, followed by the rest of the team.

"GO, GOATS!" The team, including Ron, shouted out. Before he could even think about heading back to the locker room, Thad stopped him.

"All freshies stay right where you are." Thad paused to allow the upperclassmen to step back. "Welcome to freshman hell week." He said with an unsettling grin. Ron has seen a number of college movies that depicted freshman getting hazed and initially thought that it was overly exaggerated. However, based on his first impression of the muscular blonde known as Thad Castle, those exaggerated hazing rituals might become reality. Then again, Ron wasn't too worried because he's been in more dangerous situations with Kim and he could take a beating if necessary.

_"What's the worst that can happen?"_ Ron foolishly thought.

**Locker room showers**

"Welcome to my world. I want to see every one of you freshies as hairless as the day you were born." Thad called out to all the freshman in the showers. Of all the things Ron imagined for freshman hell week, shaving another man from the neck down never crossed his mind. Yet here was up against the shower wall, naked, covered in shaving cream while another man was using a razor to shave the hair off his ass. It's not like Ron had any to begin with, but he's not in a position to say anything.

"Boom Shakalaka!" The African American starting defensive back and Thad's right hand man, Larry Summers, yelled out for some reason.

"We don't have to shave inside the crack, do we?" Alex asked with a mix of sarcasm and seriousness as he glided the blade down Ron's behind.

"Just don't go against the grain." Alex grinned at Ron's response. "I didn't think we'd be this close as teammates." This time Alex chuckled.

"I'm Alex Moran by the way." He said, confirming his identity to Ron.

"Ron Stoppable." The two of them fist bumped as a way to formally introduce themselves.

"Yeah, I know." Alex quickly replied before Thad spoke up to address the naked freshmen.

"This is only the beginning you pieces of shit!" Thad then pulled out a small booklet from his pocket. "Pay close attention to what I hold in my hand: It's a notebook. Each one of you will be given one of your own. It contains secrets about each member of this team. You will protect these secrets with your lives. Any freshie who loses contact with their notebook at any time over the next week, will be in a world of pain." As Ron listened to Thad's explanation of the notebooks, he couldn't help wondering why they were entrusted with keeping personal secrets of the team. Ron may not fully understand how things work in the jock world but having a record of personal secrets seems dangerous. Then again, he figured it must be some kind of team trust building exercise.

"Okay, hold on a second." Alex stood up to face Thad. "This is freshman hell week?" He asked, interrupting Thad and gaining a look from the linebacker. "First you ask us to shave each other's nuts, and then ask us to protect each other's secrets?" Alex took the words right out of Ron's mouth.

"You got a problem with that?" Thad asked.

"Can't you just beat us up or something? This just seems a little…gay." Alex replied with some hesitation on how to word it. Ron was also in agreement with Alex.

"Gay?" Thad asked in response.

"Gay." Alex said more confidently.

"It's called hazing asshole, look it up!" The blonde linebacker exclaimed, getting right up in Alex's face.

"Okay." Alex figured there's no point in arguing with a moron like Thad, so he simply went with it. Thad then turned his attention to Ron.

"And what about you?" He asked, catching Ron off guard.

"What about me?" Ron nervously asked.

"You think you're hot shit because you do secret agent stuff with that sexy redhead chick? You think you should be the captain? Top recruit who has the Heisman all locked up, bromigo? You think you and your friend can come here and say whatever you want?" Ron was at a loss for words. Thad's rant made no sense and seemed to be based off some kind of random paranoia. And here he thought Drakken made no sense during his speeches.

"But, I…" Ron attempted to answer but was cut off.

"Wrong! I'm captain of this team and I get to say whatever I want! And I say…" Thad paused for a good 5 seconds, as if he lost his train of thought. A smile then appeared on the linebackers face. "PARTY AT THE GOAT HOUSE!" He enthusiastically yelled out. The other upperclassmen players cheered in excitement and rushed out of the locker room with Thad following in suit. Ron, Alex and the other freshmen were left standing there, confused at the sudden 180 by Thad.

"So what do you say, Ron? Party tonight?" Alex asked.

"I don't know. I'm not really much of a partier. Plus I don't think Thad really invited us." He replied.

"Relax man, we're football players. We're already allowed at the Goat House. Besides, it's time to kick off the year with the first of many parties." Alex explained.

"Hmm, alright. I'm game. I'll see you there man." Ron honestly didn't believe he would be going to a college party so soon, but he's not complaining. Maybe this was life's way of making up for all those years at the bottom of the high school food chain. Not to mention he seems to be hitting it off with Alex and making new friends is part of the college experience after all.

"Great." Alex replied enthusiastically before taking a quick glance at the razor in his hand. "So, you're only about half shaved. Do you uh… need me to finish shaving or do you think you got the rest yourself?" He jokingly asked.

"Thanks for the offer, but I'll do it myself." Ron joked back.

**The Goat House**

Ron always thought that the "wild college party" was just something that existed in movies. The binge drinking, excessive drug use, and women with low standards seemed so farfetched and greatly exaggerated, that there's no way it could happen in real life. And this is coming from the guy with Mystical Monkey Powers who fought robots, clones, aliens, mutants, and God knows what else that walks this world. A blue skinned mad scientist wanting to take over the world with his attractive, yet deadly, henchwoman is more believable than college debauchery. Or so he thought.

Upon entering the Goat House, Ron was immediately greeted by the sight of Thad doing a line of cocaine off a woman's stomach before moving in to kiss her, only to take a bong rip instead. The team captain then had a woman dressed as a sexy nurse give him two "shots" of alcohol from syringes, which he drank with ease. Finally, the nurse placed an unknown pill on her tongue before bringing Thad in for a kiss to allow him to take the pill, causing the linebacker and everyone around him to cheer in excitement. That was quite a sight for someone like Ron, and yet there was more.

Drunk college students were pounding beers, taking shots, doing keg stands, throwing up, or a combination of all of the above. Drugs of all types were being taken like candy. Marijuana was the obvious favorite among the guests based on the cloud of smoke that seemed to fill the house, but there was also cocaine, ecstasy, shrooms, acid, and all sorts of other drugs he didn't recognize being used. Among the party goers, there was also a real life goat that just seemed to be wandering around. Odd, but since BMS is home to the Mountain Goats, it only makes sense that the school mascot attend parties at the Goat House.

And then there were the girls.

Now Ron, despite his obliviousness in his early years, was aware that he seemed to know and interact with a lot of attractive women. Obviously there was Kim, but there were others he did find attractive as well. Bonnie, Tara, the rest of the cheer squad, Monique, Yori, Shego, and to an extent, Kim's mother, were just a few of the many attractive women he had regular interactions with whether it was pleasant or not. But here in the Goat House, there must've been close to a hundred hot drunk college girls wearing tight and revealing clothing that even Ron couldn't help but notice. They were mostly preoccupied with typical party activities like drinking, smoking, flirting with guys, making out with guys, making out with other girls and so on and so forth. To his surprise, many of the girls gave him flirtatious looks and some suggestive physical contact. The one that really caught him off guard was when an older, yet still attractive blonde woman, groped his behind. The woman was probably around the same age as Kim's mother, but the way she licked her lips and winked at Ron is not something he can imagine Mrs. Dr. P. doing. Well, he can imagine, but he doesn't out of respect for the woman who's like a second mother to him. It was then that he saw the familiar face of Alex talking to some other guy and decided to make his way over.

"Stoppable!" Alex greeted.

"Hey Alex." Ron replied.

"Let's grab a beer." Alex said despite having a beer already in his hand.

"Uh I don't know. I'm not really a drinker. And my girlfriend probably wouldn't appreciate me drinking." Honestly Ron didn't know how Kim would react to him drinking. He assumed she'd disapprove, especially since he's underage but who knows?

"Come on man, you're a college football player. It's your duty to drink and party." Alex reasoned. Ron had some reservations with Alex's logic, but ultimately decided to go with it. They took a seat at the Goat House bar where a girl in a football style bikini served them drinks. As they drank, Alex needed some clarification. "Okay so back in the locker room, Thad said something about you doing spy stuff with some sexy redhead chick. Was he talking about Kim Possible?" Ron simply nodded as he took a sip of beer. "Ha! I knew your name sounded familiar."

"Holy shit! You know Kim Possible?! I had a poster of her that I jerked off to everyday after school!" Alex's friend blurted out, causing Ron to do a spit take.

"Excuse me?" Ron asked while coughing up beer.

"Yeah, that's my roommate Sammy Cacciatore. He and I have been friends since we were kids." Alex explained.

"Okay first off, yes I know her. She's my girlfriend. And two, who starts off a conversation like that?" Sammy only shrugged in response.

"Wait, Kim Possible's your girlfriend?" Alex inquired while Ron gave another nod in response.

"Did you guys bone?" Sammy asked, once again catching Ron off guard.

"Sammy…" Alex warned his friend.

"It's alright Alex. Yes Sammy, Kim and I have had sex with each other. Multiple times, and in multiple places before you ask." Ron answered, figuring Sammy probably had follow up questions. Besides, it's not really that big of a deal. He and Kim are both 18 and in a relationship, so it's not really a surprise that they're sexually active with each other.

"Dude, up top." Sammy held his hand up in the high five position.

"I'm with Sammy on this." Alex commented, also bringing his hand up. Not wanting to leave them hanging, Ron brought his hand up to give them five.

"So where is Kim anyway? I kind of want to meet her." Alex asked. Like most people in the U.S., he knew about the teen heroine and her many adventures. It wasn't uncommon to see her on the local news considering there's really not much going on in Cheyenne, let alone the state of Wyoming.

"She's going to school in New York." Ron replied.

"Damn that sucks." Alex said with some sympathy.

"Yeah it…" Before Ron could finish, they were interrupted by Thad and Larry.

"WHAT'S THE FREQUENCY, LOSERS?" Thad called out into a bullhorn from behind them.

"Puke session." Sammy burped out before leaving Alex and Ron with Thad and Larry.

"Notebooks, let's see 'em." Thad ordered to the two freshmen. Luckily Ron remembered to stuff it in his pocket before coming to the party.

"You guy's still think this place is gay?" Larry asked the two while pointing at two girls making out on the dance floor.

"Actually, that's…that's really gay." Alex said matter of factly.

"It's two chicks making out." Thad replied.

"No, I don't think he's saying that's a bad thing. That's just… actually gay." Ron tried to clarify while enjoying the view.

"Yeah, and my face just actually looks like your ass!" Thad yelled back to Ron.

"You can't talk to him that way. In fact, he challenges you to a game of beer pong." Alex said to Thad.

"Wait, no I…"

"You're on! Beer pong, right now! Let's go Larry." Thad replied before Ron could back out of it.

"Woo!" Larry yelled as he jumped on Thad's back.

"Get off me, Larry." Thad said in an annoyed tone." As Thad and Larry headed off to the table, Ron turned back to Alex.

"Dude, what the hell?"

"Come on man. Don't tell me you're not sick of his bullshit?" Truthfully, Ron agreed with Alex that Thad is becoming pretty annoying.

"But I've never played beer pong."

"Relax man, I'm great at beer pong." Alex said confidently.

**15 minutes later**

"Line it up with the…back spin." Ron drunkenly said to Alex, who was preparing to shoot the ball.

A quick glance at the table will reveal that it had holders for 21 cups instead of the standard 10, which meant more alcohol for the players to consume. Another thing you'd notice is that Alex and Ron were losing…badly. They had one cup left compared to the 12 that Thad and Larry still had. One by one, Ron and Alex drank the beers as their opponents keep making shots. It didn't help that the cups were filled to the top with a strong beer rather than half filled with a light beer. Ron, for lack of better words, was totally wasted. Alex wasn't that much better off, but he could tolerate it better than Ron. It wasn't a surprise to anyone that he missed the shot.

"Man, I thought you said you was amazing?" Ron angerly said to Alex with a slur in his voice.

"Congratulations Ron, you caught me. I'm a big liar." Alex replied with drunk sarcasm.

"You want to see amazing?" Thad mocked the two, before bouncing in the last shot and winning the game.

"Drink up." Ron said as he handed the last cup to Alex. Just as Alex was about to drink, a pair of female arms found their way around his neck.

"Just say yes, and mummy will make it all better." The older blonde woman Ron saw earlier sweetly said to Alex as she caressed her hands all over him. Poor Alex never stood a chance.

"…Yes please." Ron watched as the hot cougar lured Alex away towards her lair, and it was the last he ever saw of Alex that evening.

After finishing the last beer that Alex passed to Ron in order to bang an older woman, the young Stoppable was completely sloshed out of his mind. Despite his current inebriated state, Ron had enough mental coherence to decide to call it a night. As if he wasn't already clumsy enough, the alcohol caught up to him and he was stumbling around like a newborn foal. In fact, Ron was so plastered, he didn't even realize his pants fell down and were wrapped around his ankles. Luckily, everyone was too drunk or high to really notice, although a few of the girls got a good look at what Ron was packing underneath those cargo pants…and liked what they saw. Too bad for them, Ron was spoken for and had already stumbled his way out of the Goat House. Besides, even if he wasn't with Kim and wanted to do something, he was way too drunk to "rise" to the occasion.

It was the longest 15 minutes of Ron's life, but after hobbling across the campus with his pants still around his ankles, he finally managed to reach his room. By some miracle, he was still in possession of his phone, wallet, and keys, otherwise known as the three items you always lose after a night of drinking. Ron barely made it through the door before passing out on the couch. Luckily, Rufus was still awake to shut the door and tuck his master in for the night. Too bad Ron won't be able to sleep it off the next day, as he has football practice. It's alright though, Rufus will make sure he gets up on time.

**The next evening**

As expected, practice was absolutely miserable for Ron. Every session begins with conditioning exercises like running and calisthenics before they start running actual plays. Obviously, this is a doable routine for even the average player, but when you're totally hungover from a night of drinking, you're in for a bad time. Somehow, Ron managed to get through practice without any hitches other than getting tackled by Thad on a few plays. If he was sober, Thad wouldn't be able to get near him, but he still did pretty good scoring a few touchdowns and gaining lots of rushing yards. It went well until Ron realized that he didn't have his notebook on him. At least he wasn't alone as Alex also misplaced his notebook. Just as Thad was about to ask them for their notebooks, the third string quarterback threw a bad pass towards the sideline Ron and Alex were standing on, causing the receivers and the entire defensive line to charge right into them and the nearby water table. The "goat pile" as Thad called it, was just what Alex and Ron needed to distract from not having their notebooks. The rest of the day was uneventful for Ron.

Currently, Ron was relaxing in his room video chatting with Kim on his laptop and telling her about his…unique experiences at BMS. For obvious reasons, he's going to omit the parts about girls flirting with him.

_"Your whole body?"_ Kim asked in disbelief.

"Yup. 100% hairless from the waist down. It was weird having another guy shave me, but I'll admit I do enjoy the smooth, silky feeling." Ron commented, making Kim giggle.

_"That Thad guy sounds like a real piece of work." _

"You're telling me. I thought Brick Flagg was dumb, but Thad makes him look like a Harvard grad. At least Brick was an okay guy to talk to." Ron replied, sharing another laugh with Kim.

_"Well besides the odd hazing rituals, how're your classes going?"_ It only then occurred to Ron that he hasn't attended a single class yet. Apparently coach Daniels had some major pull in the entire school and was able to get most of the team's professors to look the other way when it came to their academics. For the most part, everyone had a 'C' average. It was weird that Ron could literally skate through school without attending most of his classes, but he wasn't going to complain. If he knew this was how jocks were treated, he would've worked harder on becoming one in high school sooner rather than later.

"Alright I guess. Nothing really worth mentioning." He really didn't want to tell Kim that the football program gives him and the team a pass on their academics. He'll tell her eventually… Honestly, he will. "So how's New York?" Ron asked, changing the subject.

_"We're in the middle of the city so there's plenty to do. The classes here a very rigorous to the point that I actually have to take extra study time, but nothing I can't handle. The only real complaint is the student body."_ Kim explained with an annoyed look.

"How so?"

_"Remember Prince Wally?" _Ron nodded. _"And remember Agent Du form Global Justice?"_

"Yeah I remember those guys. They were pretty pompous, arrogant and annoying."

_"Imagine those two combined with Señor Senior Junior, and you have the entire male student body. And don't get me started on the girls here."_ Ron notice the distraught look on Kim.

"That bad?"

_"Shallow, uptight, narcissistic, spoiled brats. My roommate is just as bad."_

"So a school full of Bonnies?" He joked.

_"I'd actually prefer Bonnie's company. These girls make her look like the Virgin Mary."_

"You're talking about the same Bonnie Rockwaller, right?" Kim nodded in response. "Man that sucks, KP." They both briefly shared a laugh before a forlorn look appeared on Kim's face.

_"I really wish you here…I miss you." _She said.

"I wish I was there too, but you know, bad grades and all that."

_"It's not your fault…okay maybe a little bit your fault." _Ron groaned at her statement. _"But honestly, if your grades were good enough, do you honestly see yourself going to New York?"_ She asked.

"Honestly? No, I don't." Ron had to pause to find the right words. "Like, New York is a huge city full of ambitious people trying to make it to the top and all that superficial stuff. That's not me. I'm fine with living a humble life after college back in Middleton. Never be normal. Besides, the way you described the people at your school makes it sound really boring." His explanation was something Kim would expect Ron to say and was glad he answered honestly.

_"Well any school seems boring compared to Blue Mountain State. I hear it's the number one party school in the country."_ Kim replied, remembering some of her classmates snide comments about her boyfriend attending BMS.

"Oh yeah, it definitely is. Heck, I even went to a party last night at the Goat House." The look Kim gave Ron made him want to take back his mentioning of the party.

_"Oh Ron. You're not going to turn into some frat boy jock who parties all the time, are you?"_ The disappointment in her voice was evident.

"Of course not, KP. I didn't even drink that much last night." Why Ron thought it was a good idea to say that was a mystery, although technically it was true even if he was totally hammered drunk. Compared to everyone else at the party, he drank significantly less in terms of only about 10 cups of beer. He didn't consume any hard liquor or drugs at least. Surprisingly, Kim didn't look upset.

_"I'm not going to lecture you to not drink or party in college, but can you at least promise you're not going to go crazy or hurt yourself?" _She even used her dreaded puppy-dog pout to help get her point across.

"Now how can I say no to that face?" He replied with that goofy grin of his. The two continued talking about random topics until it was almost eleven at night.

_"It's getting pretty late and I should get to bed." _Kim said with droopy eyes and a big yawn.

"No problem KP. We'll talk again this weekend. Goodnight." Ron was also pretty tired and was about to end the conversation himself.

_"Goodnight Ron, I love you."_

"I love you too." Logging off his computer, Ron made his way over to the light and turned it off before jumping under the covers and closing his eyes for some much-needed rest for the next day. He was asleep within two minutes.

Whether it was his monkey powers or natural instincts, something was telling him that danger was approaching. However, it seems that he was a little too slow with his reaction time as two pairs of muscular hands grabbed hold of him. Ron tried to call Rufus but a gloved hand over his mouth prevented him from doing so. The assailants had firm control over Ron and placed a sack over his head before hoisting him up and leaving his room.

_"Well this sucks."_ Ron deadpanned to himself.

**BMS stadium**

The bag was removed from his head to reveal that he was in the stadium surrounded by the rest of the team. Ron looked to his left to see that Alex also appeared to have been dragged out of his room in the middle of the night.

"Gentlemen, we're assembled here today because these two pricks lost contact with their notebooks." Thad addressed to the team.

"What? I didn't…lose my notebook." Alex tried to lie, but Thad already had the proof he needed.

"I know someone who would disagree." Both Ron and Alex were surprised to see the older blonde woman from the party walk forward.

"Thank you, Thad." The cougar said.

"Shit." Alex mumbled, knowing he was screwed.

"As many of you know, I like to have sex with football players." She said with pride in her tone while the rest of the team quietly cheered and high fived each other. "I do it because I care about this team. A team is as strong as its weakest player." The cougar continued to explain while walking forward towards Alex." And right now, your weakest player is Alex." Moran had a look of defeat on his face. "Alex didn't have his notebook with him yesterday. I know this because I had it." She then playfully placed her hand on his chest. "I think he deserves to be punished." The cougar said with a grin before walking back.

"Gratzi, Pauline." Thad said in thanks. Ron, thinking there was no possible way for Thad to know he didn't have his notebook on him, decided to take a chance and weasel his way out.

"But I didn't lose my notebook." Ron said in his most innocent tone. Thad stepped in closer towards him.

"Of course Kim Possible's sidekick wouldn't lose it. He's a hero who never loses." The sarcasm was strong with Thad. "You think you're all that, but you're not!" Ron used every ounce of self-control to not laugh at Thad using Drakken's phrase to describe Kim on himself. It was very ironic. "Kimmie won't be here to save your ass after you lose…a chocolate cookie race!" At the mention of that, Larry pulled out a box of vanilla cream chocolate cookies while the entire team cheered out loud. Ron focus however was on Thad's use of Shego's nickname for Kim, and the fact he got away with not having his notebook.

"Yes! Yes! Yes!" Another voice cheered out. The crowed turned towards the cheering and were surprised to see someone running up to them in the goat mascot costume. The person removed to goat head to reveal non other than Alex's roommate, Sammy.

"Who are you?" Thad asked Sammy.

"I'm your new mascot! This, is for you." He replied, handing Thad a folded envelope "It's Chester's letter of resignation." Thad took a moment to look over the old mascot's resignation. To why Chester resigned from mascot duty, he didn't know, or really care for that matter but it was still all of a sudden. "And this, is for you." Sammy said, handing Alex a photo. Ron and Alex glanced at the photo and saw Sammy flipping off the camera while appearing to be urinating on Pauline the cougar while she smiled on top of Alex's bed. "Who's fingering who's girlfriend now?" Sammy asked Alex while Ron stood there confused, figuring he must be missing a lot of details to understand what they were talking about.

"Haha, I got that…" Alex started to laugh in response before Thad cut them off.

"So, you're the new mascot?" He asked Sammy.

"Yes I am." Sammy replied.

"Then where's your notebook?" Ron could only sigh knowing that Thad would pull some shit like that on poor Sammy.

"I didn't get a notebook." Sammy answered, confused as how he would get one if he just became the mascot.

"Get this guy a jockstrap and a cookie!" Thad yelled out, causing the team to cheer out and leave an unsettling feeling inside of Ron.

**Field Endzone**

All of a sudden, Ron found himself alongside Alex and Sammy standing on the endzone, wearing nothing but a jockstrap that covered the front while leaving the rear exposed, with a cookie in his hand. At the other end of the field, the three can hear the cheers of the rest of team in anticipation of what's about to happen. As Ron stared at the cookie and contemplate his life decisions that led him here, Thad ran up next to him. Their team captain was also wearing nothing but a jockstrap, leaving the other's with confused faces.

"Thad's racing with us?" Ron asked Alex.

"Wouldn't miss it." Thad replied with a mouth full of cookie. Alex gave a sarcastic chuckle in response.

"I'm so sick of this shit. I'm winning this race." He said, wanting to shut Thad up.

"Yeah. I'll believe it when I see it, moron!" Thad replied.

"Okay." Alex would make Thad regret those words.

"Okay. The rules are, we each put a cookie between our buttchecks, then we race to the finish line. If you drop your cookie, you lose. And the losers, aka _you_ A-holes, will have to eat your cookies!" In any other situation, Ron would've found this stunt hilarious. But since he's the one about to race down a football field with a cookie shoved up his ass, it wasn't as funny. He seriously contemplated saying 'screw it' and leaving or even fighting Thad, but he figured that it wouldn't end well for him. Many scenarios quickly ran through his head ranging from getting beat up by Thad, all the way to getting kicked off the team and losing his scholarship. Ron's not in the mindset to disappoint his family or Kim, so he'll play Thad's dumb games.

"This seems very gay." Sammy whispered to Alex but was heard by Ron and Thad.

"It's not gay, stop saying that!" Thad angrily replied before facing downfield. "Okay. On your mark. Get set." Without hesitation, Thad placed the cookie in-between his buttchecks. Ron, Alex, and Sammy reluctantly followed his lead.

_"God this wrong-sick on a whole new level."_ Ron thought. The sensation of having a cookie shoved up his butt was not something Ron wished to repeat in the future. Not even if Kim asked him to do it for some freaky sex act she read up on.

"GO!" Thad shouted, getting a slight head start over the others before they took off.

The rest of the team at the other endzone cheered and hollered even louder as the four ran down the field. Under normal circumstances, Ron's a very fast runner thanks to his adventures with Kim, but when you have a cookie stuffed between your buttchecks, you can only run so fast especially if you're trying not to drop it. All four of them were trotting down the field in extremely awkward movements. Their checks were clenched tight to hold the cookie, they couldn't bend their knees for larger strides without risking a cookie drop, and their spines were probably at the most erect positions they've ever been in their lives. And still they raced for pride and to avoid eating an ass flavored cookie. By the time they reached the 50 yard line, Thad had a slight lead with Alex and Ron tied for second, and Sammy bringing up last place, although he seemed to not care as much.

"Why the hell is Thad racing?" Coach Daniels asked his assistant coach, Jon Jon. The two coaches were seated high up in the stands, watching with amusement and curiosity as who was going to win.

"That's dedication." The large African American coach replied. He and Daniels were both surprised that Ron was a pretty good running back. Despite his thin, lanky frame, he was incredibly fast and was surprising good with his hands in terms of receiving. They expect great things from Kim Possible's sidekick and based on his performance so far, he should be able to deliver.

They just passed the 30 yard line, and Ron was now tied with Thad for first. The two blondes looked at each other with determination to beat the other in the race. Slowly but surely, Ron was inching further ahead of Thad and closer to the finish line. He just needed that final push. For a brief moment, Ron closed his eyes and took a deep breath before focusing on within. He only needed to slightly tap into his Mystical Monkey Powers to give him that extra boost to cross the finish line. Ron opened his eyes and flashed a grin towards Thad before passing the linebacker. If Thad was more attentive, he would've noticed that Ron's normal brown eyes were now a light glowing blue.

Ron triumphantly crossed the finish line to the cheers of his fellow teammates and had that big goofy grin on his face. Thad came up right behind him, followed by Alex then Sammy. While Alex and Sammy were high fiving Ron on beating Thad, said linebacker had a look of defeat upon his face.

"Booyah! Enjoy that cookie Thad!" Ron cheered out. It felt good to be a winner and put a moron like Thad in his place. His celebration wouldn't last, however.

"Not so fast." Larry called out. All the attention was on him now. "I think you uh, forgot something?" Ron's eyes went wide when Larry held up a smushed cookie for all to see. His fears were confirmed when he reached behind and realized the cookie was no longer between his buttchecks. "It fell out your ass 10 yards back! I was watching the whole time!" Larry exclaimed while Thad smiled in excitement.

"YES! YEAH HAHA! YES! YES! EAT IT! MESS WITH THE BULL, YOU GET THE HORNS!" Thad screamed in a relatively high pitch directly into Ron's face. He and Larry then began jumping around in celebration while the rest of the team cheered. That left Ron, Alex and Sammy to their fate…a cookie from their butts.

"Man, we had that asshole beat." Alex said to Ron, holding his fist up to him.

"Yeah we did." Ron replied, returning the fist bump.

"Yeah we did." Sammy added while forcing a fist bump to Ron.

Larry handed Ron his cookie, which he reluctantly took. The cookie was smashed with the cream filling leaking out the sides. Of course, the worst part was the smell. It smelled like well, ass. Alex and Sammy retrieved their cookies as well, looking over them with disgust. All the while, the team was chanting the word "cookie" to goad them into eating it.

"To college." Alex said, holding his cookie in a toast position.

"To college." Ron and Sammy replied, toasting their cookies together. They each took deep breathes to hype themselves up, before quickly shoving the cookies into their mouths while the team laughed and cheered. As expected, they tasted just as bad as they smelled, but they kept chewing knowing it'll be over soon.

_"What have I gotten myself into?"_ Ron asked himself while trying his hardest not to throw up.

Too bad for Ron, this was only the beginning.

**A/N: ****Okay, so I've been on a nostalgia trip recently. YouTube recommend some KP videos and next thing you know, I'm binge watching the whole series. Then I read some of the FanFics and even though I'm way late to the party, they're still around and enjoyable. And then YouTube recommends me a video from another of my favorite past time shows, Blue Mountain State. And again, I binge watched the series. Then a random 2 AM thought popped into my head on what would happen if I combine my favorite childhood cartoon with my favorite show during high school? Well, you get this extremely ambitious project that wouldn't leave my head. We'll see how it goes.**

**Now if you've never seen BMS before, then this story probably doesn't make a lot of sense. Whether you like or hate this story, or even made it this far, I highly recommend watching BMS because it is awesome and hilarious. Trust me, Thad Castle will become your favorite character.**

**Any feedback is appreciated. I'm not a weak little bitch so let me have it.**

**Thanks,**

**Hawk out.**


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